Venting Properly

“I can’t believe this student just said…”

“You’ll never believe what this parent messaged me…”

Venting to a colleague or making a post on social media may seem like the fastest way to vent your frustrations, but it’s not always the best.  Actually, very rarely is it a good idea to vent online, even in a private group setting.  It’s never really private and screenshots exist.

So, who are you supposed to vent to when your upset?

One of the best professional development workshops I ever took was titled: Venting Properly.

Why was it so important?

It taught me how to vent…properly.  After a workday, several of my colleagues would go to a nearby restaurant, we’d even go during our lunch breaks.  This was a common occurrence in all the schools that I worked at.  We would sit down, order food, and discuss our day.  Every time someone started complaining about a student, their parents, or even other staff, I would remain silent.  We were at local restaurants, usually within walking distance of the school.  The people eating there also lived in the neighborhood.  It was like no one took into consideration that they could have been speaking about someone’s niece/nephew, cousin, or next door neighbor.  Imagine speaking about a child’s behavior in class and not speaking with the parent about the behavior, and the listening ear next to the table is that child’s aunt.  That aunt decides to tell the parent what was said about their child in a very public place.  Social media works the same way.  You never know who has access to your posts, even when there are privacy settings.

 

My first year into my teaching program, I started a blog.  It was actually an assignment to journal and track our progress in the program.  I wanted to put a creative spin on the assignment and share the journey with the world.  Within two weeks, I closed my blog as I realized I was oversharing.  Even though I was leaving out specific names, locations, and dates, I didn’t ever want there to be a chance that my blog of personal insights about the school I was working at to be traced back to me.  I was also wary after seeing a teacher fired for posting a picture of herself drinking alcohol on her social media accounts.

 

While I have upsetting experiences in my classroom (both virtual and physical) with students, I also receive messages from parents that can be just as upsetting.  Instead of an immediate reaction, I respond, but I send the message to myself.  I type out the “appropriate” response, send it to a friend for feedback, revise, and then send the message.   

Quick Tips for Venting Properly:

• Entrust 1-2 people you can vent to
• Don’t vent publicly
• Don’t respond in anger.  Wait a day before responding, draft a response, go back, and revise as needed
• Assess if your response is emotional
• Make sure your response is positive and not accusatory (especially when responding to negative feedback)
• Once you’ve vented, let it go